(Many high functioning clients are very conscientious about other people's time, so having an obligation to a friend and a source of social support after the date is often a great way to prevent them from responding to the stimulus of an exciting date by staying out late and going too far.) Or they'll give the friend an unflattering photo (of themselves, not of the friend or of anyone else) and ask the friend to post it to Facearticle if they don't show up for the 10 P.M. You are already on the way to transformation. The real problem is anger—and you go on condemning depression, so you are fighting with shadows. They made someone else the source of their emotional wealth and paid dearly for it. For a couple of years now, Ive tried to lean my hand against one tree every day, admiring the patterns and scars of its trunk, and peering up into its canopy. Nobody told her to do any of it. Don't underestimate the importance of your natural sense of whether or not you feel rapport with the therapist and a sense of confidence about their overall abilities, intelligence, and level of conscientiousness. Even though you may not feel qualified to assess a therapist's clinical skills, remember that their clinical skills hinge at least partly on their ability to help you feel comfortable to open up and share yourself. The society does not teach you the ways of the heart, it only teaches you the ways of the mind. He has not done anything. I'll come back to this hierarchy in a moment, but first let me give you another example. I also had a massive logo of The Daily Love and the emotions that I wanted to feel in there. Joseph Campbell said it best, Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again. Caroline's people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies definitely needed some reining in (for her own benefit, and by her own description), but the high level of conscientiousness and forethought that marks many people with these tendencies was also clearly working to her advantage in many ways, including by stimulating her to seek support with her quarter life check-in. After four full days of work in a small room, something unfortunate happened. This increases your buoyancy, and you naturally float to the top where you are safe. The mind can only connect the dots looking back. She planned to travel to Brazil, to a tiny town in the countryside called Abadiânia, to visit a Brazilian healer. The good news is that just like we can quickly go down a rabbit hole into a negative thought spiral when we have a lot of mental speed and acuity, we can actually use that very same mental energy to train our minds to work in a more efficient, harmonious way that helps us reach our goals, increase personal fulfilment, and decrease stress. It's tempting to look for someone else to be the grown-up and take away our problems. Whoever it is, welcome your counselor and ask for help.